The Legend of Zelda: The Moose of Evil
by Hylian Kid
Summary: Ganon and Link ask for Zelda's help. And Hylian Kid's new sidekick? What am I thinking? Chapter 3 up!
1. Ganon's Plan Backfires

The Legend of Zelda: The Moose of Evil

A stage is set and a Hylian girl, wearing baggy jeans and a black Legend of Zelda shirt, is standing on it holding a microphone.

Hylian Kid: Hey everyone! It's the ever random author of the Legend of Zelda, Hylian Kid!

Audience: (cheering)

Hylian Kid: Thank you, thank you. Anyway, I've been thinking, what do you get when you put together a ticked-off Link, a stressed-out Ganon, a too-civilized-for-everyone Zelda, and a whole bunch of randomness? You get...MY STORY!! 

(Nintendo agents arrest Hylian Kid)

Hylian Kid: Hey! What gives?

Agent 45: You forgot the disclaimer to this fanfic.

Hylian Kid: Oh! Give me a minute! I could do that! Ahem... I do not own the Legend of Zelda characters and/or logos (I wish I did...). I do not own rich, chocolate Ovaltine logos and/or uh... rich chocolatetiness. I also do not own Oxiclean, Pedigree Dog Food, Vegetables, Cheese...

45 bajillion hours later... 

Hylian Kid: Chess Pieces, Pink Frilly Tutus, and/or other random stuff.

Agent 32: Well, that's good enough for me!

(Nintendo agents leave)

Hylian Kid: Uh...yeah. Anyway, on to the fanfic!

In the far away land of Hyrule—

Audience: GET ON WITH IT!!

Okay! Okay! Anyway, in his castle, Ganon was trying to devise his next plan to take over Hyrule. How original. 

Ganon: Let's see. Invade Hyrule with a massive plague of fish? Nah. That's stupid. I've got it! I'll blow up Hyrule and then take over! I'm such a genius!

Audience, Hylian Kid: -____-;

Suddenly…

???: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! (explosion)

Ganon: What in the name of baked seaweed burritos was that?!

Ganon looks out his window and sees a......moose? Wait, that wasn't in the original script! And the title's different!

Tingle: (whistling) 

Tingle! (chases him)

Tingle: HOLY VEGETABLE SOUP! (runs away)

Damn! I couldn't catch him! I guess I'll wing it from now on. Anyway, Ganon goes to answer the door...

Ganon: What?!

Moose: O_____________________O

Ganon: Hello? 

Moose: O________________________O

Ganon: TALK!

Moose: O_________O BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! (explodes)

Ganon: OW!

Moose: (kicks Ganon out and shuts the door)

Ganon: Whoa, whoa, whoa!!! Hold on! This is MY castle!! (tried to open door, but fails) Damn it! 

Now, in order to get your castle back, you'll have to get help from a certain hero...

Ganon: NO! I'M NOT ASKING FOR THAT BOY'S HELP!!

LINK!!

Ganon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Audience: GANON NEEDS LINK'S HELP!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEKJHDKFJSK!!

Hylian Kid and Ganon: O______________________________O

I think the audience has been taking too much ibuprofen.

Ganon: Indeed.

So, he heads off for Kokiri Forest.

Well, Ganon is in some deep poopy-doo! Will he ever get his castle back? Will Link actually help Ganon? (DUN DUN DUN!!) I don't know! Read the next chapter!


	2. Ganon needs Link's help! HAHAHA!

The Legend of Zelda: The Moose of Evil 

Chapter 2: Ganon's needs Link's help!! HAHAHA!

Hylian Kid: DISCLAIMER!! I don't own the Legend of Zelda. 'Nuff said. READ!! (earthquake)

When we last left Ganon off, he was headed to Kokiri Forest to ask Link for help. Hehe. 

Ganon: STOP LAUGHING!!!

(casts fireball on Ganon)

Ganon: Point taken. I'll go now.

Ganon enters Kokiri Forest. Oh boy.

All Kokiri: AHHHH! IT'S GANON!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!

And they all run away. Good. Ganon then finds Link's house and knocks on his door.

Link: (opens door) Ganon? What do you want?

Ganon: Uh...............

Link: C'mon, Ganon. Spit it out! 

Ganon: I need you...to come....uh...

Link: (draws Master Sword) Ganon, I mean it, what do you want?

Ganon: O.O; Uh...my castle was taken over by a moose...

Link: Huh? That's it? 

Ganon: Uh...yeah...can you help me?

Link: YOU need MY help? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hylian Kid, Audience, Squirrels, Canned Yams: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ganon: STOP LAUGHING!!!!

SFX: (cricket chirping)

So, anyway, Ganon and Link go to Ganon's Castle. 

Ganon: (to Link) Watch this. (knocking on door) Hey, moose! Gimme back my castle!

Moose: (opens door) O_____________________O

Link: (raises eyebrow) This...is the moose?

Ganon: Yeah, weird isn't it?

Link: Uh...you could say that.

Moose: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (explodes sending Link and Ganon flying)

Now both of them are lying on the ground burnt......badly.

Link: Is this some kind of joke?

Ganon: No. It's real.

Link: So, you're telling me that you, the "almighty King of Evil", can't even get your castle back from an exploding moose. Hey, who wrote this story anyw—

WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS FANFIC FOR A BREAKING NEWS BULLITIN!

Tingle: Rich, chocolate Ovaltine!

AND NOW BACK TO YOUR ORIGINALLY SCHELDULED FANFIC.

Link: Maybe we should ask Zelda.

Ganon: Good idea.

So, Link and Ganon head to Hyrule Castle to ask Princess Zelda for her he—

WE INTERRUPT THIS FANFIC WITH ANOTHER BREAKING NEWS BULLITIN!

Tingle: I love Oxiclean!

(Hylian Kid chases Tingle off the stage)

Tingle! Get back here! And you, big letter announcer guy, stop interrupting my fanfic!

BUT THE LITTLE UGLY FAIRY TOLD ME TOO.

Don't listen to the little ugly fairy! He's taking too much Flintstones Vitamins!

OKAY. I WON'T INTERRUPT YOUR FANFIC NO MORE.

Stop speaking in big letters!

I CAN'T HELP IT. 

Fine. You know what? I'm tired, so I'll write the next chapter soon. I swear if that little ugly fairy comes back I'll—

Tingle: Dee dee dee da dee singing some stupid fairy song!! WOO!

Get back here! (chases Tingle off stage)


	3. It's Zelda's Turn!

Hylian Kid: Geez, I'm cookin' up these chapters fast! I'd pretty much hit my head on the keyboard...wait...(hits head on keyboard three times) there that makes 54 times. Sorry, I ate too many boxes of Nerds last night so bear with me. 

Tingle: (whispering from off stage) C'mon say it!

Hylian Kid: (sigh) Presenting...my sidekick...(sigh) Tingle...

Tingle jumps out from off stage but trips over the microphone cord and falls flat on his face. 

Audience: (laughing like crazy)

Hylian Kid: (laughing) Now THAT'S funny!

Tingle: (gets up, dusts himself off, and tackles Hylian Kid) 

Hylian Kid: Hey—Get—off—me—you—little-----GUARDS!!

Hylian Kid's guards come and arrest Tingle.

Hylian Kid: HA! That's for trying to kill me! Anywho, let's begin this fanfic before Tingle gets out of prison. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. (ahem) And now for the disclaimer. I do not own Legend of Zelda. I do not own anything. THE END!

Link: (knocks on Zelda's door)

Zelda: (answers) Hello, Link. Hello, Ganon. (realizes what she said) O_O Ganon?! What are you doing here?!

Ganon: We came to ask for your help. Uh...

Link: Ganon, just tell her for cryin' out loud!

Ganon: (sighs) Okay, my castle was taken over by a moose...

Zelda: A...moose?

Link: I know! Isn't it funny?!? (laughing)

Zelda: Well, yes, but also...(starts laughing)

Hyrule Castle Town: (laughing)

Hyrule Field: (laughing)

Moose: (laughing)

Zoras: (laughing)

Dekus: (laughing)

Gorons: (laughing)

Gerudos: (laughing)

Dead Sheikahs: (laughing)

Kokiri: (laughing)

Fish: (laughing)

Scarecrows: (laughing)

Termina: (laughing)

The whole world: (laughing)

Ganon: (booming voice) STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!

Link/Zelda/Castle Town/Hyrule Field/Moose/Zoras/Dekus/Gorons/Gerudos/Dead Sheikahs/Kokiri/Fish/Scarecrows/Termina/World: O_____________________________O

Whew! That was a mouthful!

Ganon: Okay, now, will you two idiots help me?

Link: (really ticked off. Oh boy.) That's it! (draws sword and tackles Ganon)

So, anyway, Link and Ganon are in a gut-wrenching, head-exploding, beard-growing brawl. 

Zelda: Please, stop fighting!

Link and Ganon: (stop fighting)

Zelda: Now, Ganon take us to your castle and we'll try to figure this out.

Ganon leads Link and Zelda to his castle and run into some trouble...

Hylian Kid: Well, the chapter has ended and my "sidekick" hasn't even come back yet! This is my lucky day!

Tingle: Hello, Hylian Kid! I've come back to fulfill my goal to make your life miserable and to bug you as much as possible!

Hylian Kid: Hoop-dee-doo. Well, guess what?

Tingle: What?

Hylian Kid: FRENCH FRIES!! (holds up a Super Size fries from McDonalds) FETCH! (throws fries off stage)

Tingle: (slow-mo: As the fries fly through the air, Tingle leaps up high but misses the fries and hits his head on a lamppost and is knocked out)

Hylian Kid: YAY!!! REJOICE!! (does weird Swedish dance) Anyway, that's the end of this chapter. Next chapter up soon!!


End file.
